I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
