One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
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