WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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