do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
the day after is always just damage control
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
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If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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