he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This is classic penis vs brain.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Randomize
