also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
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you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
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I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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