hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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