Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
