Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize