I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
try to milk me bitch
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
