this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
