totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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