There is too much vodka and too much dick.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Bring me that man meat
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
