im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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