Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
