im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
