In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
