I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Randomize
