belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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