Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize
