I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize
