Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
