No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
