I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
