I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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