I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Randomize
