No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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