just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
