dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
