She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
