I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
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