my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
