In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
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i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
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