So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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