you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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