I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
