I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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