Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
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I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
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I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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