what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
