Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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