this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
