smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
