i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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