guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I think I have vodka in my lungs
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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