That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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