yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Randomize
