garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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