I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
