God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
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you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
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look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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