I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize