Fuck appropriateness.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
