when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
