is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
