Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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